A quick update:

I live with my mom and "stepdad" in lexington, kentucky.
My "stepdad's" daughter came to live from here with us...
When I ferst met her, we hit it off so well, like we've known
each other our whole lives...

She has had the same problems growing up as me, bullies, drunk parents, barely any friends...
...She opened up to me as I have to her...
"Patricia" is her name.
she is beautiful in so many ways....and I love her...
to what extent? I'm not sure if I even know!

Her father is a man who is fun if you befriend him, but like Dr.Jeckle, has a fierce side to him...

My mother looks at her like her own... more so than her own father. I hate to see him so hard on her all the Damn Time! her tears bring me to a state of awareness I was unaware I even had.

for the longest time, I have been a generaly depressed person. Patricia makes all my anger and hopelessness vanish.

The question? why is God presenting such a beautiful person to me, even though I can't Love her? ...so says the standards of man.

She is dating one of my best friends, "David". who is such a good man to her... and a great friend to me.

but...

She seems to fade from him every day. the passion that was once so strong is now hanging on for dear life. God forbid anything should happen between them...

When I see her, I see a young woman who is very fragil and confused.
A beauty among Demons and beasts. she refuses to give in to what the world says is "Normal"... a word her father can't seem to say enough.

What the Fuck is Normal? Does it even exist!?!? I thought the whole point of the world is the concept of diversity. many people on one planet.

When he compares her to "!!NoRmAl!!" and says she's wrong for everything she does, I die a little inside...

Because I can see me in her shoes... FUCK! I still do!!!

Her mother... heh, her mother hates her guts!
Her father hates everything!

The devil is a tricky bastard...

I can't beat around the bush any longer, I love her, Dammit!!!
and I can see it in her eyes... she loves me too...

when I hang out with her and spend time with her, I give in to her unmodest sense of humor, just like mine...
She is not afraid to be herself around me...

Why?

...God, Why?